Genie Lesson # 86

If You’re Ever Captured Again, Rescue Yourself-

Most people, like Trua, spend a lot of their lives waiting for someone else. They want someone to recognize them and make their dreams come true.

You too may have the desire to be rescued by others. This rarely happens, and this attitude can stop you from moving ahead in daily life, or with new dreams. Learning skills to help you promote and save yourself puts the power into your court. The following lessons point out, how to get started.

“To overcome adversity, you must rescue yourself first. Your mindset, not the event, defines if you will be “rescued” or not,” says Susan Kobasa in Gustav Razzetti’s article. Rescuing yourself involves learning new skills and adapting your thinking. You have been taught through society’s myths that you are a princess and that means a knight in shining armour will come to your rescue. Sometimes that happens, but why wait for the knight, when you can learn these skills yourself?

Super-Genie Power Steps to Help You Rescue Yourself and Become More Resilient.

Be Flexible

If you are a hostage to an old belief or captured in a situation you need to get out of, remember there are different ways to approach every predicament. Adaptability is important. Susan Kobasa suggests resilient people can pivot their viewpoint. They can see difficulty as a challenge. Once they do this, it deescalates the situation. You are then more equipped to confront the circumstance which previously seemed daunting. Realizing that there is more than one right answer and way of looking at a dilemma nurtures a flexible response. Remember this trick. Look at the person who is bullying you and see that they are just a baby having a tantrum. It changes perspective and adds a bit of humour.

Get Committed and Defend Your Wish!

Having something to fight for provides fuel for resilience. If you want a life you love, you need to stay committed. There are times you will have to fight with your old patterns or with others, to get and keep what is important to you. Pick your battles when defending your wishes. Ironically in personal or work situations, people who feel like captors may also become sick of being in the role of being the ‘bad guy.’

In some cases, telling them what you want and collaborating your release will work. Be wise and know if this is true or would lessen your chance of getting free.  Untangle from other skirmishes in your life that are distracting you.

Control Your Emotions and Reactions

Practicing free will involves understanding your own emotions. There are times when you face difficulties. You can’t always control the situation, but you can influence your reactions.

A friend of mine, Paulette Grasely says, “learn to interact, not react.”

Susan Kobasa says, “It’s your choice to waste your energy playing the victim, or to focus on rescuing yourself from adversity.”

When you are triggered it is common to release tension by yelling at someone or saying something, you later regret. Shouting is a poor approach because it tends to escalate the situation and entangles you in undesirable dynamics. When you react defensively or thoughtlessly, you tend to regret it later. Lashing out causes you and others pain. So, don’t do this!

Honour your feelings and the reasons behind them. Take the time to identify and know your emotions. Approach them with kindness and calm yourself. Life will throw challenges at you, but your reaction will determine their effect. How long will the difficulty impact you? Understand you have some control over this piece of the pain puzzle.

“Practice the pause,” has become a new age mantra for good reason. Breathe deeply, ground yourself by placing your feet solidly on the floor. See yourself connected deeply with the earth. Channel the pain and anger out the conduits that move from your throat and solar plexus into the earth, then breathe again. Wait for a few minutes before doing or saying anything.

Our dear friend, Allen Vanderwell who recently passed on was a clinical psychologist. Allen said, “you can build years of goodwill with people and destroy them within a few minutes with out of control reacting and dysfunction.”

Remember, the way you view the situation now is not the only way to look at it. You may not have the whole story or the whole truth. So, wait a while and make a decision that suits you when you are in a calm state.

 Someone else’s action should not determine your response. The Dalai Lama

Reframe Your Thoughts

Reframing means to find different ways to think about your circumstances.

The ability to reframe a suggestion is not something you are born with, but it is highly learnable. Adam Sicinski, in “Reframing the Only Guide You’ll Need” says, reframing is much like changing a picture in a picture frame. The frame hasn’t changed; however, the picture within the frame is now different.”

So, although your situation hasn’t changed your view of it is now more insightful. Sicinski goes on to say, “Events and circumstances do not have inherent meaning. You assign meaning based on your interpretations and perspectives.” So, if something negative, like being captured has happened to you, you may feel differently about it when you reframe it and harvest it for insights.

 There are many ways to view a situation, belief or person.

Find a positive way of seeing the situation and how you can approach it.

See if you have any beliefs that are limiting you.

Are any of your beliefs not helpful or stopping you from trying to help yourself?

How might you reframe them, so they are helpful?

Razzetti’s tips about reframing a situation are:

Stay calm when challenged.

Identify the real situation

Assess how you are responding to it.

Reframing influences perception, interpretation and the circumstances themselves.

Sicinski says, “Reframing helps you experience things from a different perspective that can be advantageous. As such, you become more resourceful and can make more optimal decisions moving forward.”

Sicinski says other reframing questions you might ask yourself are:

Is this really a problem, or is it a problem because of the way you feel about this situation?

How would you deal with this situation if you were a scientist? Lawyer? Child? Man? Woman? Harry Potter?  (A Genie)?

What would someone you admire do in this situation?

How would you approach this situation if you only had a day to solve it? How about an hour? How about a minute?

What advice would you give someone else who is experiencing this problem?

What would you do right now if you knew you couldn’t fail?

What if you knew what do right now? What would you do? What’s the best way to accomplish this?

Reframing feeds possibility and opens your creative mind.

Be Creative

Necessity is the mother of invention. Desperation will prod you to find different ways to help yourself. If what you have done to solve your dilemma previously doesn’t work, learn new tricks. Try something different! There are so many ways to tickle your creative fancy.

I find when I lie down and start to daydream, possibilities open. If I stand and am clenched and rigid my creative forces freeze.

Find the place and body position that works best for you. Some people become more creative when they meditate. This will often stop their inner critic from destroying their ideas. Paint, dance, sing or do whatever frees you.

Call up a friend you like to brainstorm with, let the ideas flow. Harvest your nightly dreams for fresh and original ideas. Pose the question you want to be answered before going to sleep.  If you want a unique and personalized solution, your dreamer will often help. Remember to write down your insights.

Razzetti suggests you try scenario building. This means concocting a story of how things might turn out. This will raise your awareness of risks or possibilities that might occur if you put your rescue plan in action.

Next, think of strategies to help your plan succeed, or think about what to do if it fails. Keep the capturer’s point of view in your mind. There is more hope for a self-rescue when several ideas are contemplated. Settling on just one plan makes a genie vulnerable. As, Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” 

Creativity gives options, hope and adds in the element of surprise, all invaluable strategies for your self-rescue missions. Genie-types are innately very creative. You have the kind of mind that sees things from many angles and in unusual ways. Embrace and unleash this power to solve your dilemmas, for it is part of your unique genius!

Make Collaborative Relationships

“Relationships are the life-blood of a worthwhile existence and create hope and opportunity,” says Gini. “My relationship with Trua was instrumental in developing Lumera. Trua convinced me humans wanted to take responsibility, make choices and create their own magic. My relationship with Joey is very synergistic. When Joey and I connect we create spontaneous wishes, that benefit everyone. Be sure you have healthy relationships, as well. Your relationships may also be what ultimately saves you,” shares Gini.

“Two heads can be better than one. Being in a dilemma with someone else bolsters feelings of hope,” says Gini.

“Think of how you can increase your chances of your wishes hatching by developing new relationships with people who reflect your new beliefs. If you do not know people like this, consider where people with life and wish affirming convictions might hang out. Where can you find a friend, who shares your passions and interests?” asks Gini.

“Also, nurture long-time relationships with people you have deep bonds with, who you love. If you find people whose skills enhance yours, you can accomplish more together than separately. These people can be colleagues, whom with you can share and create. Relationships, of course, have a lot more value than solving dilemmas or helping to grant wishes. They are what gives life meaning. Treasure the good relationships in your life and recognize them for being the rare ‘gold’ they are,” shares Gini.

“Now you are ready to challenge a situation that previously bound you by, reframing your thoughts, thinking flexibly, being wildly creative and building collaborative relationships. These skills will help rescue yourself from many situations, that once may have held you,” Gini says.

Put in Enough Effort and Be Persistent

If you don’t try hard enough in the first place or persist when setbacks arise, you can easily give up on yourself. I know it can be hard to know when persistence becomes futile. However, be sure you have tried to make your wishes work from a variety of angles. It can be easy to give up on your dreams when you are used to supporting other people. Your dreams are part of your true purpose, and there may not be a linear path to obtaining them. Sign up for the long haul if you have defined what you want.

Use the Resources You Have

Lolly Daskal, says “Even if you don’t have everything you need, teach yourself what you can instead of spinning your wheels. You’ll be surprised at how much you’re able to accomplish.”

If your wish demands you learn new skills, do this. Many online resources are free or low-cost. Local libraries offer a plethora of self-learning tools. Your unique talents and resources will be life-long assets.