Techniques For Better Self Understanding-
Self-Reflect – The Antidote for Shadow is Light
The Room of Mirrors, in Lumera, is an optimal place to self-reflect. Remember that to enter you say, ‘Lumera, Aremul, Mulare,’ three times and picture yourself moving through a mirror.
Genie Lesson # 36
Self-Reflect for Insight
When you learn to spot uncomfortable or mischief-making patterns inside of yourself, it shows you are gaining the ability to self-reflect. If you integrate the insights resulting from ruminating, you may then make healthy choices and actions that relieve your pain and dysfunction.
If you can see your needs and desires, you can then responsibly meet them. People who recognize and know how to meet their own needs, also have less desire to perpetuate the cruelty of capturing genies, as they are self-sufficient, wish makers unto themselves! This makes Gini very happy!
There are many ways to reflect. Ask yourself important questions that uncover what you want to know. Be fully honest. Journal your answers. More techniques for self-reflection are included in this chapter.
Genie Lesson #37
Integrate What You Learn from your Reflections
In our original story, Gini told Trua that humans become empowered when they learn to look inside. Building the ability to look inward and glean insight at your weaknesses, strengths, goals, and impact on others, builds emotional intelligence.
People with higher emotional intelligence are often more successful than those with higher occupational skill levels. Most people prefer being around those with high emotional intelligence, as they feel more connected and understood.
Self-awareness as a whole heightens through contemplative practices. When you are self-aware, you are more likely to identify and disarm your destructive thoughts and behaviour.
Looking inward allows you to view your weaknesses to deduce where you can make important changes. Self-reflection brings insights about what has gone wrong in painful parts of your life. If you integrate this wisdom, you will be less prone to repeating the same patterns.
Being aware of your patterns and motivation also helps you to think before you act. You may avoid problems caused by jumping into something too quickly.
Resistance to learning self-awareness occurs because the answers may cause initial and often brief discomfort. But don’t let that stop you, as questioning your motives will help you to change in the ways you want.
Practice self-reflection; identify a personal issue that is causing you discomfort.
Ask yourself the following questions.
What is the behaviour or belief causing mischief?
Why do you continue this behaviour that doesn’t serve you?
What might you do instead?
“If you learn to recognize and admit your mistakes, you gain integrity,” writes Scott Jeffrey, in the Guide to Self-awareness Skills.
Genie Lesson # 38
Feed Your Curiosity
I always advise my students to develop the muscle called curiosity when working with themselves and others. Instead of jumping to judgment, ask more questions, find out more about what bred certain decisions or reactions.
An attitude of “not knowing” allows your shadowy parts to emerge and become known. As Stephen Aizenstat, my dream teacher says, “Be more Columbo than Sherlock Holmes, when working with your subconscious.” For those of you too young to interpret this, it means, let yourself be clumsy while detecting your inner spaces. You will get further, by being unassuming and bumbling than by being restrained and judgmental.
If your subconscious parts come into the open, you can understand them better and even start to evolve them. If they are hidden in the dark, as they do when judgment and denial are present, they become more destructive. Reward yourself for being curious about what is hidden in your life. Remember also to be gentle, as you explore your inner landscape.
Shadow Reveals Itself in Our Pain
Genie Lesson # 39
Know When You’re Torn in Two
Humans have many aspects of ‘self’ harboured within one body.
Polarities indicate where parts of one’s psyches are split. Inner conflict tears one apart. Contradictions are a place of pain.
People say one thing and then do another. They want one thing but seem unwilling to follow through in action. They mention they believe in something but act differently than what they say. For example, have you ever wanted to lose weight and get in shape, but then eat a whole bag of cookies, or not exercise?
A split is going on in the person when a polarity is active. For instance, someone may say they believe in self-responsibility, but in practice, blame their employer for the reason they are stuck.
Sometimes subconscious beliefs from childhood derail your education and adult learning. During this inner battle two sides pull against each other and create a painful rip. Where ever a polarity exists, you will feel divisive issues pop up.
A gut feeling is every cell in your body making a decision. Deepak Chopra
Genie Lesson # 40
Learn to Body Scan
Identify the part of your body the emotional split is taking place. Sometimes the pain will show up in a particular body part to give an emotional message, such as butterflies in the tummy. See if you can correlate an emotion with this feeling? Gary Zukav and Linda Francis teach this method of associating emotions and body sensations, in their book, Heart of the Soul.
The dis-ease caused by a polarity may even be the way some illnesses come in and give us messages, according to some mind/body illness theories. When you find the place of pain attend to what your body tells you. 96 skeleton
Your body and emotions speak to you, but they don’t use words.
To find out what your emotions are indicating spend time, observing and journaling how your body reacts in different circumstances. This is a reliable way to spot your tendencies.
Keep track of how your body and emotions respond when you are with various individuals. Also, notice your reaction in different places, i.e. work, school, exercise club. If you get a tummy ache, or sore throat every time you speak to someone, this is a clue.
Your body has honest reactions, and it feels the way it feels. If you ignore your body’s signals, it escalates the symptoms, or adds extra cues, until you notice and acknowledge.
Bring your journal with you and keep track, as these patterns can be elusive unless written down. Getting to know your body’s reactions is one of the most affirming practices you can develop.
Gary Zukav and Linda Frances who came up with the Body Scanning Technique, advise checking your whole body frequently to see if any particular areas or chakras are holding information.
Two interesting questions that have helped me are-
“How does your body react when you do not tell someone the truth?”
“How does your body react when you lie to yourself?”
Learning these personal “tells” is very illuminating, because when we can catch the “tell,” we know what we are up to.
Remember to give yourself permission to be your authority when body scanning, journaling or doing internal dialogue techniques.
Genie Lesson # 41
Discover What You Are Afraid to Lose if You Change
This question is key to knowing what lurks deep in your resistance.
Change can mean the loss of many things in your life, not only what you want to shift, but anything attached to the issues and beliefs in question.
Self-reflect when experiencing polarities in yourself.
Take time to learn what beliefs or behaviours are tearing you in two directions.
Explore where your fears lie and how to address them.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. Deepak Chopra
Genie Lesson # 42
Heal Your Inner Split to Move Forward
One cannot move forward if they do not get a grip on the old subconscious beliefs holding them back. You need to soothe your scared inner child by acknowledging, listening and attending to her. Then move toward what is currently in your best interest.
A polarity will show up when you are acting out an old belief, which no longer serves you. Your parents, church or society probably seeded it. Moving forward means understanding what this belief is and letting it go. But this is rarely a linear process.
You also have to understand you may incur losses when you move forward. Making choices and decisions means you can’t have both the old and the new but need to decide which will serve you better.
Staying stuck in an old belief is a choice, while ignoring a painful situation may cause it to either dissolve or blow up. Not choosing locks you in a permanent stance of disempowerment and stagnation. Polarities indicate an inner space is in turmoil, but also signal the potential for growth.
Leonard Cohen, a deceased, Canadian songwriter, explained polarities, as ‘the cracks in everyone.’ These cracks are vulnerabilities but are also the place where the ‘light shines in,’ and are a window to change. Polarities signal hope but also harbour fear.