Genie Lesson #57

Listen to Yourself

As Gini reminded you listening to your inner dialect is essential. Are you reinforcing your new wish with your subconscious thoughts, or sabotaging it? Pay attention to your mind chatter. It is full of clues about the voices and messages that are driving you.

I find the most natural time to hear mine is before falling asleep. Catch and challenge yourself when your language becomes discouraging or judgmental. Afformations increase a sense of hopefulness.

Use kind words when thinking or talking about yourself and others.

Listen to what is essential to yourself to show your commitment. Attentive self-listening is a crucial step in creating the life you want. Attuning to your inner voice may also free you from social addictions and boost self-esteem; making you less desperate for the approval or attention of others.

You have learned techniques to talk to pieces of yourself with the Internal Dialoguing Techniques and Self-Reflection. These are all handy tools for deepening your ability to understand and care for you.

Be sure you are in a quiet space before you journal or engage in Voice Dialogue. Minimize external distractions and interruptions.

Ask yourself questions you have never asked before and get to know exciting new pieces. Set frequent times to listen to yourself, such as once a week for 2 hours, or, anytime you are feeling upset, or having a polarity pull at you. Remember attending to your abandoned inner child, and other root pieces count as self-listening.

 

Meditation is another gracious way to release inner thoughts that do not serve you. Establish a meditation practice or set frequent times to be mindful and quiet to receive advice from the universal. Meditation and mindfulness decrease tension, anxiety and enhance creativity and wellbeing. Do it your way but be sure to make time to connect with the bigger picture.

 

 “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”  Stephen Covey

Bearing Witness

Genie enters the classroom and says, “Listening is a skill that is both introductory and advanced. It is fundamental to all communication yet takes focus and ability, to do well. One of the simplest gifts a genie can give to others, or themselves is to deeply and sincerely listen. The power of this seemingly simple gift cannot be over-estimated. You have been observing your inner talk. Now we will focus on listening to others.”

Genie Lesson # 58

Listen to Others- A Powerful Genie Skill

In our fast-paced society, many have gained the skill of speaking, often before they even process information. Very few people know how to be present, quiet their minds and focus entirely on another.

When others listen to you, genuinely there are noticeable effects. You are heard. You become visible and feel significant. Being listened to and witnessed is an empowering, uplifting and rare gift.

To listen to others better, clear your mind with three deep breaths. State your intention as an afformation, how is it I hear what this person is saying, so wholly and deeply?

Ensure you are in a quiet, pleasant location and that you are not distracted, no cell phones! Ask the person what it is they wish to talk about or pose a direct question. Face them, so you have soft eye contact, i.e. not glaring, but seeing them.

You may try mirroring their body language. Notice what their body is telling you, and what their posture says. Are their limbs crossed? Do they look relaxed or tense?

Everyone is fighting for attention, so when you are listened to and seen, it is very confirming and validating.

As the person speaks, summarize what they have said in very similar language to what they have used, at appropriate times. Be sure you understand their real intention.

Do not judge, interrupt, or suggest solutions.

Try not to tell too much of your story or take the conversation away from the speaker. Stealing the spotlight is done subtly at times, by shifting gaze, checking your watch, tensing posture, or giving facial feedback that looks threatening or judgmental.    95 Pug

This can get tricky, sometimes your face is just your face, and you can’t control how people react. People may read something into your facial gestures, words, or posture that were unintended or untrue. But as much as possible keep engaged and aware of your posture and facial responses.

Ask questions to have them elaborate when things are unclear.

I have found questions like, “how so?”

or “can you tell me more about that?” to be very revealing.

Good questions keep the attention in the speaker’s arena. Also, avoid questions that merely satisfy your curiosity.

“Is there anything else?” is an excellent question to ask toward the end of the meeting.

Mostly listen. If your attention wanders, catch yourself and come back to the speaker.

If they have told you their wish, or something else important to them, be sure to re-state the desire and summarize the discussion, at the end of the meeting.

Shake hands, have a hug if appropriate, and make eye contact. Thank them for sharing what is important to them.

Deep listening is a wonderful present to share with your family, friends, and colleagues. Indeed, hearing someone is an act of caring which build bonds and facilitates a loving atmosphere.