Ch 9- Leave that Lantern-Never Get Enslaved Again
It’s not what we do once in a while, that counts, but our consistent actions. And what is the father of all actions? What ultimately determines who we become and where we go in life? The answer is our decisions. It’s in these moments that our destiny is shaped. More than anything else, I believe our decisions-not the conditions of our lives-determine our destiny. Tony Robbins
Gini enters the classroom and gets right to the point, “Staying out of that lantern once and for all involves some good fortune, smart choices and responsible action. Are you ready to put in some effort to help create a future of freedom?”
Genie Lesson # 76
Stop Blaming Others
Being free involves relinquishing the cozy cushion of blame, your victim pieces carry. When you take charge of all aspects of your life your focus shifts from blaming others, to accepting responsibility for manifesting your own goals.
The shift from child to adult consciousness requires a high level of clarity and action. It can feel like a big leap. Being your own boss takes work. Being free involves learning and honing a whole new skill set.
Gini shares, “Some days it comes as a surprise that I am responsible for my own actions and outcomes. It can be a pleasant recognition, “Hey I am a free, adult Genie. I make the rules about me. I can change almost anything that no longer feels right in my life. There is no need to suffer.”
Gini continues, “Being emancipated also means finding and developing relationships with others who recognize their freedom. People who are bonded will not have the skill, nor the incentive to help you develop the traits, nor model the actions required for you to become and stay free. These are not skills one learns overnight, so give yourself time to develop.”
The author, Eckhart Tolle said “When you complain, you make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.
Genie Lesson # 77
Make Better Choices- Nothing is Better Than the Wrong Thing
It is easier to get enslaved when feeling vulnerable. You might not be feeling your best physically, or emotionally when you allow someone or something to take you over. Loneliness can lead one to make bad choices about people, or money. You might invite in what is not right for you, to alleviate the pain of being alone.
Many people have brought someone home for the night, only to find they have been captured by the person’s drama, strong personality, or demands.
Sometimes you don’t actively choose to allow someone in, but do not defend your boundaries vigilantly. Loneliness can be painful, but it also offers a chance to get to know yourself and create life on your terms. You can either fill the space, with what is meaningful for you, or with emotional and mental clutter that distracts from your true nature.
As you mature, you gain the knowledge that nothing really is better than the wrong thing. Learning to hold the space of possibility is powerful. An opening is magical, but it is also tough to maintain, as voids tend to fill in quickly.
The word ‘yes’ is like a balloon initially uplifting until you notice it comes with strings. 85 Balloon
Genie Lesson # 78
Take Actions That Further Your Wishes
Responsibility turbo-charges your wishes. With it, you take the power to make what you want to happen into your own hands. The next step involves taking meaningful actions that give results.
Action steps are your chance to add some masculine yang, to the feminine yin, of wish making. Both qualities in harmony increase the likelihood of wishes birthing. But taking action stacks the deck in favor of you getting the outcome you want.
Take action on the aspects you can impact. When deciding which part of your goal to approach, ask. “Which of my actions will allow me to see progress?” But also have the wisdom to know what you can’t control; this is where the receptivity of the feminine is needed, as you wait and trust.
You are a wise genie when you hold yourself accountable for granting your wishes. You are acknowledging you can count on yourself.
Genie Lesson # 79
Start by Making Small Changes
It is tempting to want to change everything in your life at one time. Usually, this tendency to take on too much becomes overwhelming. It will result in you making fewer changes than you would if you had started with smaller goals. A bite-sized shift that is easy to carry out creates momentum and gives you a natural boost of dopamine for reinforcement.
Make Your Action Steps Effective
Break the actions down into small steps.
Make them measurable.
State your action steps in positive language.
Make action steps that directly impact your wish, in a good way.
Think creatively and try new approaches with your actions.
What is one bite-sized change or goal you can do today?
How about tomorrow?
Create one small step a day.
“Just as beliefs and behaviours that no longer serve you cause mental and emotional stress, clutter and mess in your home also interfere with your progress. Cleaning and decluttering your home are actions that support change,” says Gini.
Genie Lesson # 80
Change Your Environment
One concrete action is to clean up your home! Mess and clutter breed frustration and stagnation. Get help if tidying up by yourself is overwhelming. Use natural cleaning tools, like essential oils, vinegar and baking soda, so you do not harm yourself with toxins as you scrub. Come up with a plan to clean regularly.
Sorting can be overwhelming. Pick one room to start. You may decide to organize your closets and clear clutter, if you are having trouble getting dressed in the morning, or don’t know what to wear.
To start the process of sorting, get three large bags or boxes. Designate one for what you throw out. Name the second the ‘donate’ bag. Make the third your ‘give to friends or family’ bag. Go to work! Practice your decision-making skills, as you let go of what you no longer need. Get rid of the bags from each room when you finish, so that the clutter moves out of your space.
Do this in all of your rooms and closets. Use as much time as you need, but keep the momentum going.
How do you want your home to function and feel? What might you do that is easy and economical? Rearrange your furniture, do some simple painting, or buy more storage or organizational units. Be pragmatic when changing your space. Lighten up your home to encourage movement in your life. Your space can make your life easier if it is organized in a way that supports what is important to you. If your home or location no longer suits you, it might be time to bite the bullet and move.
Genie Lesson # 81
Reward Yourself
When you implement actions around your goals or wishes and clean that closet or declutter the garage; give yourself something, you enjoy. Go to a movie you want to see or visit someone you love. If you can make your reward a book, movie or visit to someone who supports your new beliefs, it will be even more powerful.
A friend of mine does well when she gives herself monetary rewards for accomplishing her goals. She puts $500.00 in a special account. If she achieves her larger wish, she buys herself something she wants. If she does not accomplish it, she gives the money to a charity.
How might you use this idea of a reward to increase your motivation?
Genie Lesson # 82
Be Responsible for Protecting Your Freedom
Most people initially enamoured with their freedom don’t anticipate the responsibility involved in keeping it. For example, if you commit to loving, it may mean you are no longer free to play the field. You have chosen to be with someone in a more profound way. If you say yes to an education, it will involve time and money. Protecting your freedom requires you to awaken your inner SELF or adult piece. Making a choice and maintaining it requires commitment and follow up.
As the old magicians say- Magic always has a price.
Weigh possible outcomes your wish may cause before you make it. Take a breath while you explore if the wish you are choosing will have more benefits than costs.
Your actions demonstrate what you really believe. Simon Sinek